TRUSTFELL - LETTERS/JOURNAL ENTRIES

[shuttermouse]

KISS NOTE ENTRIES
because this is totally the kiss note's intended purpose


1.
Reaver was executed yesterday. I got my camera back today.
I think we're missing our memories - part of them, anyway. That explains why my age is listed as 24.
I got some of them back now; I don't think that was just a dream last night.
If I'm 24 that means I'm still missing four years.

...I want to remember why he decided to let me live. The pet thing confuses me.
I am no one's pet.

2.
We got an incentive today. An opportunity to survive.
I don't need it. I've already survived 24 years in a world that seems more dangerous than most.

Something he once said comes to mind. The weak bow down, and the strong devour them, that's the way of the world.
I'll have to remain strong and bow to no one.
(What would he say if he knew I'm thinking of his words?)

3.
Another trial yesterday. I got another memory.
I know why he calls me a pet now. Since I wasn't appetizing to him, he decided that I'm like a pet. Weirdo.
He arrived at this conclusion after I took a picture of him when he grabbed me by the collar and hung me out an eight-story window.

4.
Made parfait. They taste better when he buys them for me.
I miss listening to him talk about food.

"A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye."

"The discovery of a new dish confers more happiness on humanity than the discovery of a new star."

Maybe I should read that book about the physiology of taste or whatever it's called.

5.
Ashley-san is gone and Asuka-san killed her.
Her execution was drawn out and people around me were screaming for the Conductor to stop.
I took a picture of her struggling. But for some reason, I hesitated.

6.
I'm so afraid of dying here.
It's terrifying that one moment I may disappear forever.
This group is going to cannibalize itself until there's only one person left or until the exercise is terminated.

7.
fuck this incentive
If I remain here and do nothing, he will be exterminated. I cannot let that happen.
Even if the group could defeat the Conductor, there's no way I would be able to go home again.
I'd be hunted down by the CCG and imprisoned for hiding a ghoul, or I would be killed by his family's hitmen if they come after me for revenge.

LETTERS NEVER SENT

[ The name has been scratched out and smudged with a thumb - it's impossible to read. It seems that it occurred to her that this letter could be intercepted or otherwise end up in the wrong hands. ]

Tsukiyama Shuu,

I hope that you're alive, but given my memory loss it's possible you're dead and I don't remember. But I'll assume that you're alive and well until my memories prove otherwise because I'd rather not think about you being dead. That's depressing.

I don't know if you ever saw me as anything other than a pet, but to me you're a friend. My best friend. I just never said it because a) I guess I'm bad at expressing these things and b) I didn't think you'd need to hear that sort of thing from a human, anyway.

You're really fun, and you make my life more interesting. We're kindred spirits in a way, aren't we? Both of us are trying to find the ultimate experience of our chosen interests. We're always pursuing that one thing.

Why am I telling you this now? Because I could die any time in here, and I felt that maybe I should say something, even if it's just in a letter. I might regret it later if I don't. I don't know, this place is messing me up.

- ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Momochi Ikuma,

I don't want to explain what's going on, because frankly it's terrible and a lot of it is unbelievable, but if you're reading this I'm probably dead. Don't try to find out why, you won't get any answers.

You're an interesting guy. You need to grow a spine and be less of a wimp, but there's a lot about you that I like - hanging out with you is nice, even if I don't always get you. You're really good with the guitar, too. I think you could have a successful career as a musician. Wanting to become a musician is why you moved to Tokyo in the first place, right? You should continue to pursue that dream.

By now you're probably tilting your head in confusion at this letter. Being in here makes me want to write a bunch of positive things about people back home, I suppose.

- Hori Chie

PS. That guy still owes you dinner for beating you up and breaking your guitar.


Hori Fujiko & Hori Daichi,

Mom, dad

[ She never got around to finishing it. Maybe she couldn't find the right words and was going to continue later, but then the motive happened. ]